Why, hullo

So here's the thing about books. People get really tetchy about them. I get really tetchy about them. My theory is that this emotional attachment is formed because the time spent with a book is actually crazy long compared to the other enriching things we choose to digest. Ready for the psuedo-math? I know I am!

Take for example, The Departed. That is a great film: Scorsese got his Oscar, Matt Damon is hot, and Leonardo DiCaprio gives his best performance since he fell into the pool in Romeo + Juliet. Suffice to say, I loved it. If I were recommending movies I would go on and on but I'm not and I won't (Matt Damon is HOT y'all!). The Departed weighs in at a hefty 151 minutes. Put down your calculators, that's about 2 hours and 31 minutes of awesome. I'm not gonna front, I've only seen it once. So yes, 2 hours 31 minutes.

There is another great piece of art that's only had one go-around with me, and that is The Once and Future King by T.H. White. This lovely novel is getting it's own post later so I won't bore you except for saying that the first part of this book is the source material for Disney's The Sword in the Stone (runtime: 79 minutes. pshhh), Elton John swears he didn't name his song after the last section of the book entitled "Candle in the Wind," but I know better. At a scrumptious 639 pages it took me about 11 hours to finish TOaFK, spread over a week. And yes, I've only read it once.

So we've got two fantastical works, each experienced only one time. My movie gave me a 2 and a half hours of excitement while my book clocked in at a whopping 11 hours. Sucks to your ass-mar, Scorsese. Learn how to write. (I'm just kidding, tell Leo to call me. I'LL NEVER LET GO, JACK!)

Next time: The rules...