Watership Down

by Richard Adams



Buy: @ Powell's Books
Read if you like: Thinly veiled historical allegory, anthropomorphic British animals, quests, Animal Farm, waif prophets saving the day, The Lord of the Rings, rabbits.




Why should you read this?

So this is a book about rabbits. I'm not kidding. Rabbits. Wild badass bunnies. I want you to stay with me on this one. You may have seen the film adaptation (faithful enough to be mentally scarring for any child who saw it. Violent shit goes down.) or started the book thinking it would be a story about rabbits who act like people (not spoiler: it's not). It is a book. About. Rabbits. The coolest part, well aside from the fact that it is a well-written and beloved piece of literature (the blurbs do not lie), is that we experience the trials and emotions of being a rabbit in an awesome way. There are delightful details like the rabbits don't understand numbers higher than four, the rabbits don't understand that things can float on water, the rabbits don't know what a train is. There is rabbit mythology, realistic biology, and—wait for it—rabbit slang (with a glossary). It's like Lord of the Rings but with rabbits (incidentally, new drinking game: a shot every time I use the word 'rabbit,' which, more incidentally, isn't looking like a real word anymore).

Aforementioned shit begins its downward descent when Fiver, a runt, has a vision of blood and death in the rabbit warren. Naturally he tries to warn everybody. Naturally no one believes him except his older brother, Hazel. They only manage to convince a handful of rabbits to abandon their warren. When will people—er, rabbits learn to always trust the waif prophet? Now our rabbit heroes are on a quest for a new home and the world is not the safest place for a rabbit. The rabbit-god Frith cursed the rabbits with many enemies, but he gave the rabbits the gift to run. So you'll have to catch them first, bitches!

I love Watership Down because it feels damn realistic, like, I'm pretty sure Richard Adams was a rabbit in a past life, but it doesn't read like a narrated nature program. You actually care about our little rabbit friends. I cried in public while reading this book. I was eighteen. Testify. I'm a sucker for really any epic adventure quest (paging the department of redundancy department) and this one renders a five-mile trip to Watership Down (shocking spoiler, I know) feel as beautiful and touching and full of wonder as 10 years to Ithaca. It's awesome times hrair*.


Quote of greatness:

"'Hazel,' Blackberry said quickly, 'that's a piece of flat wood—like that piece that closed the gap by the Green Loose above the warren—you remember? It must have drifted down the river. So it floats. We could put Fiver and Pipkin on it and make it float again. It might go across the river. Can you understand?'

"Hazel had no idea what he meant. Blackberry's flood of apparent nonsense only seemed to draw tighter the mesh of danger and bewilderment. As though Bigwig's angry impatience, Pipkin's terror and the approaching dog were not enough to contend with, the cleverest rabbit among them had evidently gone out of his mind. He felt close to despair."

*A great many; an uncountable number; any number over four in rabbit (shot!) slang

Special Topics in Calamity Physics

by Marisha Pessl


Buy: @ Powell's Books
Extras: Website


Read if you like: Mysteries, Bildungsromans, Footnote fiestas, allusions to other books/movies/songs in your books/movies/songs, Brick (film), The Emperor's Children, The Secret History, To Kill a Mockingbird, L'avventura (film) and butterflies


Why should you read this?

1. Each chapter of is named after a 'classic' work of literature
2. A 'required reading' list serves as the table of contents
3. The appendix is an all-inclusive final exam. (I. true/false? II. multiple choice III. essay)
4. The narrator is fond of parentheses (!!!)






Oh, I'm sorry, did you want me to explain more? I only needed #1 to run to the bookstore to buy this beast, in hardcover no less! (My other hardcovers are like, Harry Potter...) But I am surely a different sort of creature than you, dear reader. For one, I'm sure you are normal and require more than some cheap gimmick to get you to shell out your cold hard cash. You win!

So Special Topics in Calamity Physics (STCP- the acronym I just made up) is principally the story of Blue Van Meer's senior year of high school. Of course, this is the first year Blue will spend a whole school year in one place. Normally she and her brilliant, political science professor father, Gareth, bounce from one tiny backwater college to another on his guest lecturer circuit. But her senior year, as we learn by the third paragraph, was the year Blue's childhood "unstitched like a snagged sweater." Also, by paragraph four there is a dead body. TWIST!

Gareth Van Meer as Dad is like Atticus Finch, but less qualified for saint-hood. The man can rant and rave in a beautiful fashion and he fills long drives with sonnet-a-thons. I know, he's awesome. But back to Blue. Her senior year at a private school in North Carolina involves all the best parts of prep school narratives without all the stuff that made Prep horrible (sorry if you liked that book, read this one instead). I have a soft spot for school plots and this one includes mysteries and academia and obscure film references and just enough romance and wacky esoteric teachers.

This book may not be your cup of tea. Negative reviewers have suggested that it tries too hard to be smart; that Blue, as a narrator, is too fond of parenthetical asides and literary references. I say POO TO YOU. Honest to God, while this is not nearly the best book I've ever read—hell it isn't even on my list of Great Literary Works (snob snob snob)—I would have KILLED to write this. You know what I would not have killed to write? Wuthering Heights (coincidentally, also Chapter #3 of STCP), so there you go.


Excerpt illustrating the fantasticalness:

The following morning at 7:45, when Dad dropped me off in front of Hanover, I felt absurdly nervous. I had no idea why. I was as familiar with First Days of School as Jane Goodall her Tanzanian chimps after five years in the jungle. And yet, my linen blouse felt two sizes too big (the short sleeves creased off my shoulders like stiffly ironed dinner napkins), my red-and-white checkered skirt felt sticky and my hair (usually the one feature I could count on not to disgrace me) had opted to try a dried-dandelion frizz: I was a table in a bistro serving Bar-B-Q.

"'She walks in beauty, like the night,'" Dad shouted through the un-rolled window as I climbed from the car. "'Of cloudless climes and starry skies; / And all that's best of dark and bright / Meet in her aspect and her eyes'! Knock them dead, kiddo! Teach them what educated means."

I nodded weakly and slammed the door (ignoring the Fanta-haired woman who'd stopped on the steps and turned around for Dad—Dr. King's drop-off sermon).

Rec: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time

by Mark Haddon



Buy: @ Powell's Books

Read if you like: Sherlock Holmes, young narrators, The Lovely Bones, detective quests, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, The Secret Life of Bees, seeing 5 red cars in a row.



Why should you read this?

I'm willing to bet that this is one of those books you've heard about but never got around to picking up. One of those books they put on the front table at B&N (I just learned that publishers pay to put the books on the tables and ends of the shelves, they aren't picked because they are good or the staff likes them! I feel conned.) and you say, "why, that looks interesting, what a silly name" and then you walk off to grab the Return of the King dvd or whatever was out in '04. I am telling you to go back and grab it off the shelf.

The 'hook' of the novel is the narrator, Christopher Boone: a nerdy fifteen year-old living with his dad. Christopher also happens to have what we assume is Asperger's. Christopher has very limited social abilities and struggles with understanding facial expressions and other societal conventions. At the same time he has savant-like capabilities for math and science and lives his within very strict rules (for example, he refuses to eat yellow foods). Since we are reading the novel Christopher is writing for us we experience the world like he does with all the digressions and diagrams that pepper his thoughts.

We accompany Christopher as he attempts to solve a mystery like his hero, Sherlock Holmes. His search for the murderer of the neighbor's dead poodle, Wellington, is alternated with chapters detailing the writing process and conversations Christopher has with his aid, Siobhan. Chapter numbers are all prime numbers (He can calculate the primes up to 2179. I use my fingers to calculate 8+7).

The interactions between Christopher and 'normal' people provide a lot of humor as Christopher tries to navigate the complicated world we take for granted. You can't help but root for him as he grows up page by page. As implausible as it seems, maybe Christopher can overcome the odds.


Excerpt of the awesome:

Mr Jeavons asked me whether this made me feel safe, having things always in a nice order and I said it did.
Then he asked if I didn't like things changing. And I said I wouldn't mind things changing if I became an astronaut, for example, which is one of the biggest changes you can imagine, apart from becoming a girl or dying.
He asked me whether I wanted to become an astronaut and I said I did.

Rec: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

by Douglas Adams




Buy: @ Powell's Books

Read if you like: Snarky parody, adventures on other planets, avoiding trashy sci-fi, puns, the movie version, The Thursday Next novels, Mel Brooks, dry British wit, towels.



Why should you read this?

Imagine you are Arthur Dent, British everyman, except that your life is so much worse than average. It is depressingly banal. Unfortunately for you, your home (and the planet Earth) are scheduled for demolition due to the building of an hyperspatial expressway. Hijinks ensue!

The plot of is really not what's important here. Sure, we zip around the universe with Arthur (who, at the best of times, would like nothing better than to get the hell away from all of these odd aliens and just have a cup of tea) and yes, that's very fun. But, this isn't donuts-for-dinner.

The great thing is that this book is so funny. There are puns, allusions, and witty quips on every page. I actually laughed inappropriately in public while reading. Adams manages to take on politics, scientific progress, religion, celebrity, and life with both irreverence and sincerity. Even though we may think it is just a madcap adventure tale we have poor, displaced Arthur Dent who is so bumblingly (yeah, I just made that word up) wonderful and just as neurotic as we all are. He especially hits at your gut when you least expect it: "He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it." You and me both, Brother Dent.

I always like a book that, under the candy-fun coating, gives me something substantial to chew on. This one has that and the answer to the meaning of life, the universe, and everything. Believe it, or not.

Excerpt that proves all that crap I just said:

"If I asked you where the hell we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it?"
Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said.
"Oh good," said Arthur.
"We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet."
"Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."

On The (rules of the) Road

The Methodology

Rule #1: I only recommend books I like, not books that a million other people think are awesome and I think are shite. Of course, I do like books that other people like as well. I'm not a hipster reader.

Sub-Rule #1a: Sometimes I'm a hipster reader. Deal.

Rule #2: Recommendations come with related books and things. If you hate the related items and then hate the book you know who's fault that is? Yeah, not mine.

Rule #3: There will be no Steinbeck


The Masterlist

This is the list of books that have/will be featured whenever I get around to it. Entries will be linked from here or in the archives and this list will be constantly updated whenever I feel like it.

• The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
• Watership Down by Richard Adams
• Peter Pan by J.M. Barrie
• In Cold Blood by Truman Capote
• Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
• The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
• The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick
• Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett
  
• The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman
• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon
• Angels in America by Tony Kushner
• A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
• One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• Love in the Time of the Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
• Ghostwritten by David Mitchell
• Special Topics in Calamity Physics by Marisha Pessl
• The Road by Cormac McCarthy
• The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger
• His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
• Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins
• The God of Small Things by Arundthati Roy
• Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safron-Foer
• The Secret History by Donna Tartt
• The Once and Future King by T.H. White

My Virtual Bookcases

This is an electronic version of the actual books I have chosen to spend money on in the last 10 years that I've been buying books. Some are a little wack. Whatever.


Up next: The First Recommendation.

Why, hullo

So here's the thing about books. People get really tetchy about them. I get really tetchy about them. My theory is that this emotional attachment is formed because the time spent with a book is actually crazy long compared to the other enriching things we choose to digest. Ready for the psuedo-math? I know I am!

Take for example, The Departed. That is a great film: Scorsese got his Oscar, Matt Damon is hot, and Leonardo DiCaprio gives his best performance since he fell into the pool in Romeo + Juliet. Suffice to say, I loved it. If I were recommending movies I would go on and on but I'm not and I won't (Matt Damon is HOT y'all!). The Departed weighs in at a hefty 151 minutes. Put down your calculators, that's about 2 hours and 31 minutes of awesome. I'm not gonna front, I've only seen it once. So yes, 2 hours 31 minutes.

There is another great piece of art that's only had one go-around with me, and that is The Once and Future King by T.H. White. This lovely novel is getting it's own post later so I won't bore you except for saying that the first part of this book is the source material for Disney's The Sword in the Stone (runtime: 79 minutes. pshhh), Elton John swears he didn't name his song after the last section of the book entitled "Candle in the Wind," but I know better. At a scrumptious 639 pages it took me about 11 hours to finish TOaFK, spread over a week. And yes, I've only read it once.

So we've got two fantastical works, each experienced only one time. My movie gave me a 2 and a half hours of excitement while my book clocked in at a whopping 11 hours. Sucks to your ass-mar, Scorsese. Learn how to write. (I'm just kidding, tell Leo to call me. I'LL NEVER LET GO, JACK!)

Next time: The rules...